My granddad is not doing very well. He fell about a week or so ago and ended up in the hospital. Since he came home he just seems as though he has given up. This has really made me ponder over the past few days what I would be thinking if I was in his situation. To have basically no quality of life, would I really even want to keep living?
God says in the bible that we shall not murder, but I have to wonder when you get to a point in life when you can't do anything for yourself - can't cook, can't get up, can't go to the bathroom, can't get dressed - why is it that God keeps us living? Why can't we just choose to go Home.
Now, in my Granddads case, he is not this bad off. Yes, he needs help with some things, but he is by no means on his "last leg" per se. But at some point he will be, and we have to just trust that God has a plan that is for the best. Maybe it is not to benefit the person dying, but to benefit the people living. We all will admit it is much harder when someone dies out of the blue. It's a shock and it hurts deep. But when someone slowly goes, we are almost relieved to see them stop suffering. Yes, it still hurts deep, but it also feels like a blessing in some ways.
I have told Jon so many times that I don't want to have my life drag on and on unless I can enjoy it. I pray that in my old age I can be healthy and strong, until the moment He takes my hand and walks me through the gates of Heaven. Is that selfish to pray for?
